Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For You Personally. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever produced in India back into Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: it is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine just like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi ended up being designed to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down such as the Web in Delhi NCR through the police-farmer clashes. Not before providing Rihanna an accident course on democracy by trivialising rights that are human and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by herself the honour of sitting for a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide India like pizza pieces.

She extends to regulate how they’ve been designed to experience legislation that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are simply ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What You Need To Be Tweeting About

But Rihanna must not for the moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman continues to be in the dark about do’s and here do n’ts’s a list she should stay away from:

  • The protestors whom passed away on Delhi edges.
  • The town Asia has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
  • A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for a tale he never cracked.
  • Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, that will continue steadily to stay in prison for public violence she did not incite.
  • And thus a number of other individual liberties activists and workers that are social.

Here’s exactly exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. Exactly why are Indians rushing down to Maldives and never Barbados for Instagrammable holiday pics? Why did Jahangir provide East Asia the license to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed crocodile rips for terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and awaiting China to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, its apparent that too much quarantining has fogged up the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or even a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors built in India’s geography and history to Nehru?

Or we’re able to prompt you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to check out silver within the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

It really is pretty obvious you will be woefully unaware which our government could be the thing that is best to possess happened to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Exactly Just Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you’ve got currently done us much harm and gotten the planet to generally share something aside from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting polar caps, shrinking woodlands and looking angrily at globe leaders.

Now bad Kangana will likely be compelled to provide a thumbs right down to Thunberg. Ask her to function on her anger writing a 15 page research paper administration issue. View good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a pal and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away from you. No longer dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big fat people in India. You have ‘hit your toe with your hammer’.

You, we humbly advise you to please take back your meddling foreign hand and let us criminalise protests, beat up university students, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright journalists, in peace while we continue our efforts to discredit.

You’re getting inside our means of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look what you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with this farmers!

Take a seat, you fool. Kangana will undoubtedly be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no Aadhaar card for you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing on a whim after making her task. She’s a viewpoint on almost every thing, reality or fiction, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or brief. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This can be a blog that is personal the views expressed will be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is in charge of them.)

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